Lullaby

I love it, but I’ll only have it on my own terms.

Hypothesis

I am a hedonist because I am a nihilist.

If I really want to, I can drop this life and everything and everyone in it.

And because I am free, there is no more fear.

 

I am sorry.

To anyone who thinks I owe them an apology, I probably do.

But most of all, I owe myself an apology. For being less than the person I said I wanted to be. And for making the lives of others worse with my actions and words.

I was swayed by the devil from all that is good and pure. For a long while, I’ve forgotten.

Now I have to walk somewhere very dark and while I do not know what will jump at me from the darkness, I will remain strong because that is the only thing I have known since forever and I will walk bravely through the dark, hopefully being a light that guides whomever needs me, and I will walk out of that darkness, becoming all the stronger, better, and pure.

I will remember that no one deserves less, especially at my hands. I am not a unique snowflake.

He said, “The metta part about being metta is to be metta when it is impossible to be metta.”

& I stand corrected.

Enamorarse

The expression of love is an uncontrollable exaltation of beauty too sacred to remain in the mortal body where it festers alone.

You're beautiful! & I love you!

Cold turkey is temporary

This wanderlust is undeniably scary; as fresh, as raw, and as hungry as when I first bore it.